My husband and I are friends with another couple. Recently, we noticed that they were dressing much more conservatively than before. The women (wife and 2 girls; one teenager and one pre-teen, I think) are now wearing head coverings and long dresses and the men (husband and teenage boy) are wearing pants, rather than shorts, and beards (if possible) J. My husband and I, being curious like most people and also being pastors, wondered what their thinking was behind the recent change.
Yesterday, we got to talk to the wife of the family. (I’m not naming them for their privacy. I don’t know if they would mind or not, so it’s better to stay safe.) She enlightened us. She told us that she had actually wanted to wear a head covering since they had returned from living overseas. But because of the situation they were in they decided that it would be wiser not to. I won’t go into the reasoning behind that, but in their case I agree with their decision. However, she told us that she had been wearing a large hair clip to signify a head covering and still be discreet. They said that when they came back from overseas, they were shocked at what people were wearing (or not wearing). They wanted to keep themselves holy. They have also stopped eating pork. They said that this was because while they don’t see anything wrong with eating pork, not eating pork was a good reminder to them to stay holy and clean. This is the case with the change in appearance, too. They are more careful of what they do and read and say because more people are watching them.
I don’t think that I want to adhere to these values, but I admire them for doing it. I especially admire that they don’t care what people think and they are not trying to convert others to do the same. They simply want to be closer to God and stay holy for God. I can see how it would be a great reminder.
That conversation led me to wondering where lines in my own life should be drawn. I was wearing a tank top and really short shorts. The only shorts I own that fit me are short. It has actually been bothering me and I have been shopping for longer ones. I felt really naked in front of this friend who was wearing a loose dress so that you could not see any of her curves. I have been making an effort lately to spend more time with God and get to know Him better.
The recent General Council has helped form the question of where lines should be drawn, in my mind, as well. It used to be that if you were divorced you could not be a minister. No ifs, and, or buts! Now we have voted to allow it if it was pre-conversion, due to a spouse deciding to leave or adultery. I am happy about this, don’t get me wrong. I believe we made the right decision. However, it illustrates my thoughts. Another illustration is smoking and drinking. In the Assemblies of God, it used to be that you weren’t believed to be truly saved until you stopped smoking and drinking. I believe that, too, was wrong. It is God’s grace that saves you. You can sin while being saved. But, it still makes me wonder about the lines. Slowly over time, we’ve allowed more and more. At what point should we say, “NO MORE”? Should we even be concerned about it? I suppose it is between each of us and God. It has to be a personal thing. But as I see our society care less and less about God, I wonder what will happen when we’ve allowed too much. Will we just fall into oblivion like the Incas or Romans? Our actions as a nation and individuals do have consequences. What will they be and when will we have crossed the line?
*Note: If you are interested in more information on headcoverings, this is a nice, clear and easy to understand post on my one couple does it.
20/08/2007 at 8:41 am Permalink
I understand what you are saying, and have wrestled personally with some of those issues. Being divorced as a Christian is not a problem, however, entering into another relationship presents many problems, like those faced by David.
23/08/2007 at 11:37 am Permalink
My husband and I have some family that live in their own community of Christians that follow similar beliefs as your friends. We always thought they were strange and were missing out on being indpendent and creating their own modest fashion style and sense. I appreciate modesty more and more as I walk around and see 12 and 13 year old girls with cleavage and the word ‘juicy’ on their butts. It is really gross and perverted. What message does ‘juicy’ on a butt speak, especially on the butt of a child?!
It is hard when you talk about he whole line crossing thing. I struggle with cussing and every now and then might smoke a cigarette or cigar and I do enjoy a nice cold beer every now and then. I know people, though, who would say I am not saved or that I am playing with fire or something.
Modesty. Moderation. I believe in these things and hope that I apply them to my life in a way that is pleasing to God. I think everyone, whether Christian or not could use more modesty and moderation in their life (including myself!).
27/08/2007 at 10:10 pm Permalink
Wow…another post near and dear to my heart! I wore modest dress for about a year (last year) and have made many modest friends and Mennonites online, as well as meeting some here locally where we live. I love the idea of the headcovering and modest dress. However, I feel God released me from the “dresses only” and headcovering “for a time” for certain reasons. But my heart is with the headcovering and modest dress. I totally agree with the principal and reasoning. I am sure this summer I have slipped too far the other way, and thank you for this gentle reminder to always be modest as women of God.
07/09/2007 at 11:32 pm Permalink
I’d love to see more Christian women set the example for modesty. While I am not a headcovering gal, and I don’t see anything “holier” about dressing in long and sometimes frumpy-looking dresses and skirts, I do love to see women in attractive clothing that covers. What’s with the beards? I’ve never understood that. If they’re well taken care of, they’re nice to look at. If it’s a beard that’s scraggly, it just draws attention to the man in the wrong way, a self-centered way. “Look at me” can take lots of forms. I think it’s a matter of conscience and I’m afraid too many women AND men want to be seen and heard for their outward appearances than to serve sacrificially. It’s easier to abstain from pork than to admit you just don’t love your neighbor as yourself. I speak to myself about this all the time, being the recovering legalist that I am!
08/09/2007 at 11:39 am Permalink
I agree that some people may do dress in a way that makes them seem holy rather than be holy, but I want to be clear in that this family is probably the most sacrificially giving family I’ve ever met. They gave us a car when we needed one, besides all the home canned goodies. I love them for their selflessness and know they do it for their own relationships with God. So I say to them, “Good for You!”
26/07/2008 at 5:44 pm Permalink
What does the bible say? Surely this must be the starting point. Head covering and modesty are enjoined, so why not just do it? Obviously, after that one needs to pray to find out exactly how modest to be, as it were. Blessings, Andrew