Sad and Confused

carmacks1955.jpgToday I learned that my uncle, son of my grandma that just died, has also died. He died on Thanksgiving day. His neighbor found him with a gunshot wound. They think that he committed suicide. I am deeply saddened by this news. What makes it even harder is that he apparently had been doing very well lately. I have never known him not to be having problems with drugs and alcohol. Apparently, though, the past two years he has been free of that bondage. I am sad that I didn’t even know that. I’m also sad that I haven’t seen him in so long when he only lives an hour and a half or two hours away. Granted we’ve never been close and my dad has been dead for nearly 7 years (so we don’t do family get-togethers), but still…

He has two daughters. One is older than I am and one is 4 days younger than I am. I didn’t really know either of them very well. I met the older one maybe twice in my life and the younger one once. They have both gotten closer to my uncle in the past ten years. He was out of their lives for some time. And now he has grandkids. I just have to wonder what happened. If he was doing so well, what happened? What kind of pain was he going through, especially to have done this on Thanksgiving day just before he was going to be picked up to go celebrate with his family? These situations are so sad because they don’t make sense. It seems like the people around someone who has committed suicide should see the symptoms, but it is so rare that it is so obvious. I want to make clear that I’m not trying to blame anyone. It’s impossible to tell sometimes. Of course, maybe there was another person involved. That would make it less sad in this situation I think.

Oh, it makes me sad… :(

school3.jpg Thanks to Aunt Christine for the pictures. On top picture, my uncle Tom is the second youngest. The youngest is my dad. On the bottom picture, my uncle is the one in the bottom right-hand corner. My uncle Dick is in the bottom left-hand corner , my uncle John is two over from Dick and my aunt Christine is the one above my uncle Tom. This was before my dad went to school.

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4 Comments on "Sad and Confused"

  1. more cows Than People
    24/11/2007 at 10:46 pm Permalink

    i’m so very sorry, elaine.

    this is terribly sad and confusing.

    ((((elaine))))

  2. Julie
    25/11/2007 at 12:55 pm Permalink

    So sorry. Worked with many folks who have mental illness, known those who have committed suicide, and no, it doesn’t make sense. Crimes don’t make sense either.

    You all will be in my prayers for healing, understanding, and peace.
    Prayers your way, Julie

  3. darla
    25/11/2007 at 1:04 pm Permalink

    I am very sorry that you and your family have to experience this. I lived through this with my oldest father, and the truth be known, the ones who actually do this, do not let others in on that part of their mind. We will not know for sure what they were thinking was that terrible or hard to overcome that they chose this way out…but our very awesome God knows, and HE knows our pain, and our questions. I will pray that you will be able to crawl up on HIS lap and pour it all out. May HIS peace that passes all understanding reign in your heart this day. love ya Princess to Princess

  4. AnneMarie
    25/11/2007 at 10:55 pm Permalink

    God,
    I ask that you surround his family during this time. I ask that you presence would be so real to them. I ask that you minister to everyone in a lifegiving way. Be with Elaine during this time. Give her guidance and wisdom. Give her peace and rest. Strengthen everyone in the midst of this. Bring a complete healing in your time and MAY YOU BE LIFTED UP LORD!

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